Friday, 10 September 2010

This I will entitle... Madam Q the Chronicles.


I'm sure that all of you that are reading this have what can only be described as "the town crazy" where you live. I am no exception from this and I'm going to share some of the stories about Madam Q. I've been living in my town for about 15 years. So I have 15 years worth of stories to share but I'm only going to tell the ones that I find funny/creepy/weird and the ones that I can remember. Enjoy.

This one I shall call The Cat and the Spoon.

Madam Q was known for keeping cats (that doesn't make her crazy cat lady) and one cat in particular stands out for me. Here is the story.

Around winter time Madam Q was on her way back to her *home to go feed herself and her cat but for some reason her kitty seemed to no longer have bowel movement. Even though the cat did eat, she couldn't understand why her cat wasn't having regular bowel movements. Madam Q didn't have alot of money so taking the cat to the vet was outta the question. With a cat getting more and more bloated she took matters into her own hands.

Armed with only a spoon in one hand and the cats tail in the other. She swiftly shoved the spoon up the cats anus and scooped its shit out. This perforated the cats anus and it bleed to death.

This happened about 7 years ago... And she still blames another person for it.

*she had a pond dug into her living room floor